In my counseling practice, I help clients in various stages of divorce or breakup and it can vary from support/guidance to healing from an abusive relationship. People going through divorce and breakup can struggle with these symptoms and challenges:

• Getting used to being single and living alone

• Unresolved grief and sadness especially if the relationship ended without closure or clear reasons why

• Guilt over stress on children and how they will cope

• Trying to obtain clarity on what went wrong in the relationship and how to understand their part in the issues in order to undo unhealthy patterns

• Feeling like they lost part of themselves during the relationship and struggle with  rediscovering their own identity

• Trusting their gut instincts and following their own initiatives and goals

• Re-entering the dating scene and all that entails

Every situation is different but some key initiatives that I use to help those recover from divorce and breakup are (a) focus on self care, (b) re-examine the relationship for nuggets of wisdom to carry forward in next relationships and (c) help with the grieving process.

Going through a divorce or break-up isn’t easy especially if our support system isn’t readily available to help us. Even if our support system is strong, our friends and family can be biased for us and we won’t necessarily get an objective third party view of what happened. That is why therapy can be helpful during these difficult times.

Sometimes break-ups can feel worse if we have been through past trauma that has promulgated negative core beliefs. That would be something to discuss with a therapist especially one who is trained in trauma therapy.

In summary, I strongly believe in engaging a therapist when dealing with divorce and breakup of significant relationships. If you need this support, please contact me.