What are common relationship issues?

Almost half of my clients seek therapy for relationship issues. There are recent studies suggesting that the best thing for people to have as they get older is a good social network and relationships to stave off loneliness which is beneficial for both physical and mental health.

It is key to have healthy relationships and to get help if common issues appear. Some of common issues are:

Ineffective Communication

This is probably the number one issue that comes up in therapy as one or both partners are not effectively communicating thus creating more distress in the relationship. Some common issues are (a) not effectively and clearly communicating one’s wants and needs (b) shutting down when upset instead of discussing the issue at hand and (c) saving grievances until they bubble over and create a storm of anger and resentment.

UnHealthy Boundaries

This is a close second as many of us are challenged with having healthy boundaries with ourselves and with others which leads to problems in our relationships. Perhaps we grew up as “people pleasers” or were not taught healthy boundaries by our role models. Sometimes abusive relationships can deteriorate our boundaries and we need to rebuild them again.

Dissimilar Values and Goals

This issue came up a lot during and post Covid as spouses, family members and friends started to vary widely in their stance on the pandemic and political climate. Unfortunately, many were left feeling alone, not understood and frustrated with some loved ones.

Major life changes can also bring this issue to surface such as becoming parents, major illness or career shift. These events can highlight underlying differences which may cause friction and distress onto a relationship.

Why is individual therapy important?

I teach skills in direct, assertive communication and lean on findings from the Gottman Institute to implement better ways to discuss and resolve conflict. I help clients learn how to set a boundary and what boundaries would help in their relationships; sometimes we strategize a new boundary in one of their relationships which they implement and then we can discuss in therapy. I believe helping an individual with better skills and perspective can create a better change in their relationships. If you would like to learn more, please contact me today.